5 tips for a successful 'I do'

Your Save the dates have been sent, your dress has been fitted and chosen, your menu is set from appetisers to dessert, and maybe you're already dancing your opening dance in the living room. And your vows? The title of this article is '5 tips for a successful I do', but actually there are six. The most important tip of all: Start now.

Photo (above): Eppel Photography

TIP 1: Pauses

"The right word may be effective, but no word has ever been as effective as a pause at the right moment" - Mark Twain.

A pause is to your vows what a full stop, a comma or a blank line is to a written text.
A pause allows your words to touch your audience; your emotions are better translated with authentic, well-chosen pauses.

Pauses have many advantages for you too. They give you time to breathe, to take a sip of water, to look at your loved one, to put your thoughts in order. When you dare to take a break - and it's often a question of having the courage to do so - you also avoid using stop words to fill the silence (umm, eh, so, hmm...).

TIP 2: Put meaning into your voice

Make sure that your loved one and everyone else present is drawn into your story. Add nuances to your words and sentences. Make sure not only that the words you use are captivating, but also that your voice supports your wishes. How do you do this? Vocal variety. You'll accentuate words that deserve more attention, by emphasising them, for example, through pitch, volume, tempo and pauses.

TIP 3: Practise out loud and in front of the mirror

It's only in front of the mirror that you can work on your vocal variety, practise pausing and try to feel your vows as you say them. Vows carry emotions, and by saying them out loud, you can already feel what these emotions are doing to your voice...

TIP 4: Body posture

Do a quick body scan when you're practising your vows: how are you holding yourself, are your shoulders relaxed, are you not clenching your jaws? If you check this regularly as you practise, your posture as you say your vows on your wedding day will certainly be more relaxed. This is called 'muscle memory'.

TIP 5: Keep breathing

By breathing in slowly and exhaling for a long time, you'll calm down, which will have a positive effect on your heart rate. That adrenaline rush at the start of your vows? That's perfectly normal. You should be aware that this peak will fade and that you will then be in rhythm. A good breath will give you a major boost.

Bonus tip: yawn!

What do you mean, yawn? Yes, yawning helps to restore your physical and mental state, especially during tense moments. The muscles around the larynx, where your voice comes from, relax and your voice sounds calmer afterwards. Yawning also helps to clear the nerves, so take advantage of these moments of calm to yawn your heart out.....

Stefanie Van Moen is a speaker coach - she's a voice therapist and coach at Vox Consult (and an accredited Insights Discovery® practitioner).

Her passion? Helping speakers deliver their message with confidence, power and connection with their audience. Her aim as a vocal coach is to give you a solid grounding in vocal and presentation techniques, while allowing you the space to add your own personal touch, uniqueness and vision. She helps you discover your unique storytelling style and delivery techniques so that you can express yourself the way you want to in every presentation, speech, lesson or recording.

For your wedding vows, she would like to expand your comfort zone, so that you can say your "I do's" with confidence and in your own way!