Article by Elke Jeurissen - Photo (above): Photographer: Elisabeth Van Lent
In an ideal world, you will spend the next few years getting to know each other even better. Each goes his or her professional way. Besides your dream partner, you also want that dream job. It doesn't fall out of the sky, however. Developing your full potential requires choices and a lot of energy. When I graduated, I already knew that a lot of variety, having fun and being financially independent in a job where I met a lot of people were important to me. It still is. A family was not necessarily on my wish list. Today, I have a blended family with five wayward children aged between 14 and 25. My mission is to make every organisation more diverse and inclusive, and to accelerate the development of untapped potential in women.
"Have you met my wife Elke? She's really great, she really needs to join your Fierce Ladies network. She has so much potential, but she is not developing it." I hear this so often from enthusiastic partners. I always ask them the same question: 'What exactly are you doing to make sure she can go full steam ahead?' I am usually then told that they are morally supporting her and trying to convince her. Fine. However, when I ask them about practical support in organising life outside the job, it often goes silent. A woman is not the de facto CEO of the family. Making a career together only works if you also divide tasks fairly together at home. If you have to put too much energy into defending your professional choices at home, you will have less left over to fulfil your dream job. Support each other, even when the going gets tough. A breakthrough in your career, your first baby, a new house... it often comes together. Get organised, and console yourself with the thought of children getting bigger.
"One of the most important choices you will make in your career is the choice of your partner" says Sheryl Shandberg, the No 2 at Facebook in her book 'Lean In'. It's 300 per cent true. If you love your wife, love her wholeheartedly. Embrace her not only as a loving wife but also as an ambitious professional. Growing together means giving each other the space to go flat out for the job of a lifetime. That takes a lot of energy and a lot of time. When children come, talk about the organisation of your family. Who goes to the nursery, who takes care of the shopping and how do we organise ourselves when the little ones are sick? I see too many couples where it is automatically the mum, or -in a female couple- always the same mum, who takes on most of the family tasks. Surely that could be different, in 2020? Also accept that not everything will always go perfectly. That's OK. Make sure you keep making enough time for each other, even during busy times.
Do you want your wife to develop her full potential? I'm counting on you.
And dear ladies, I'm counting on you too. Go for your dream job. Living fully demands a lot. Professionally and privately. In my blended family with 5 children, it is no different. I doubt often and a lot and sometimes I lose confidence for a moment. Then I think of my favourite South African proverb: 'Everything comes Reg'. And I dive into a book.
All the best to you!
Elke
Strong lady Elke Jeurissen is co-author with Tine Maenhout of the book 'Who run the world, The power of female leadership'.
Twice a year, Elke organises 72Hours Reload, inspiration trips for women to places like Lapland, New York, Copenhagen, Marrakech and Portugal. Seeing the connection between diverse women moving each other forward remains magical and totally recharges Elke.
Want to join other women in achieving your ambition? Then join Elke's Fierce Ladies Tribe. She is happy to give away to one of you a one-month taster membership as a wedding gift. Get your chance via this link and enter the competition now! Elke will announce the winner on 10 March.
Find out all about Inclusive Leadership at www.elkejeurissen.com
