Photo (above): Wedding Planning: Absolutely Fabulous Wedding – Photographer: Speaking Through Silence
Bridal Showers vs. Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties
We all know a bachelorette party. The bride heads out into the nightlife with a group of friends, and the groom has a party with his buddies. Sometimes with fun costumes, little challenges, and great group activities. A day or evening when the couple celebrates their single life one last time.
A Bridal Shower isn’t so much a party to celebrate the single life one final time and say goodbye to being “unmarried.” It’s a celebration for the bride, to warmly welcome her upcoming marriage and life together as a couple. The bride is often spoiled with gifts—though that’s not a must. Bridal Showers are simply a wonderful way to get to know the other women before the big day!
A bit of history
In the past, some fathers didn’t want to—or couldn’t—pay the “dowry.” Either because they disagreed with the man their daughter chose, or because they didn’t have the money. For the Bridal Shower, guests were invited to bring gifts for the couple. Those gifts were meant as a “trousseau” for the new home where the couple would live together after the wedding: pots, pans, a nice dinner set, a crystal vase, … Practical and beautiful items for their new nest. Since that’s somewhat outdated today, the bride now often receives more personal gifts. Or gift-giving is dropped altogether, and the Bridal Shower is primarily a warm get-together.
Bridal shower, organized by?
A Bridal Shower is usually organized by a group of friends: the bride’s witnesses or bridesmaids. Since it may be seen as less “appropriate” for the bride’s family members to ask guests for gifts, it’s usually not the mother, sister, or close family who organizes the Bridal Shower.
Bridal shower, for?
The bride decides together with the host(s) who will be invited to the party. Family, friends, colleagues, … mainly female guests. Still, in the US we increasingly see “mixed” Bridal Showers as well. How many guests are invited depends on how big the bride (and the hosts) want the Bridal Shower to be…
Timing?
The Bridal Shower is usually organized about 4 to 6 weeks before the wedding. The invitation is sent about 6 weeks before the Bridal Shower—so guests have time to buy a gift!
Location?
Where the Bridal Shower is held doesn’t matter that much. It can be at the bride’s parents’ or in-laws’ home, at one of the hosts’ homes, or even at the bride’s home. But it can just as easily be in a small event space or at a restaurant. The rule is that the bride doesn’t have to worry about anything. She’s the guest of honor. And the host(s) take care of everything: decorations, drinks, snacks, … Need inspiration? Think of a “high tea” theme, a cocktail party, a cooking workshop, a barbecue, a day at the beauty farm, or host a games afternoon with delicious little cakes and hire a great barista?
Cost?
How big or expensive you make the Bridal Shower depends on the number of guests, the program for the day or evening, the location, what’s offered in terms of drinks and snacks, … Usually, the host or the friends organizing the Bridal Shower also cover and share the costs. The bride is a guest and doesn’t pay… The party is the hosts’ gift to the bride.
Too many guests, or do the hosts want to go big and the costs are too high? Then all guests (or some of them) can be asked to bring something extra on the day itself, such as cake, flowers, something to drink, or a homemade snack, …
Thank-you gift for the guests
As the bride, you do provide a small thank-you gift for all guests. A token of appreciation for their presence and, if applicable, for the gift they brought you. The thank-you can be a physical gift, but it can just as well be a personally written card!
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