Photo (above): Eppel Photography
DO
Be yourself
Let your heart speak. Whether you want to be serious, funny, or cute - be sincere and tell what you really feel. There is a reason why the couple chose you as their speaker. So let your feelings run wild and don't be afraid to have your heart on your sleeve.
Talk about the couple
Read over your speech and count the number of times ‘I’. Even if you have had hundreds of adventures with the couple, remember that the day - and therefore your speech - revolves around them. Use the personal experiences you shared with the couple, and tell unique stories that are primarily about them.
Get a good mix of humour and emotion
Incorporating some funny elements into your story will definitely grab your audience's attention. Even if you want to deliver an emotionally charged speech, consider mixing in some funny anecdotes about the newlyweds (or ‘your’ bride or groom).
Energise your story
Using ordinary adjectives to describe the bride or groom is not enough. The more specific you are, the more the guests will be able to empathise. Fortifying a story with concrete descriptions or situation sketches always generates more empathy.
Keep it clean
Your audience ranges from young to old, so it is important to keep it neat. No one needs a helping of curse words (even though you may be known for them).
Toast to the couple
At the end of your speech, don't forget to address the bride and groom in a thoughtful way, giving them the floor if necessary. If you are the groom (or bride) yourself, don't forget to thank everyone for coming. Highlighting your parents for their help in organising your beautiful day is also a good idea. During your speech, make eye contact, and speak into the microphone in a loud and clear voice. It's not always easy to grab everyone's attention.
DON'T
Speaking for longer than five minutes
Five minutes are ideal. Remember that short but sweet always works best in this context. Guests enjoy hearing great stories, but regurgitating endless anecdotes will eventually drain attention. Since there will often be multiple speeches, it is better to keep it fresh, short and to the point.
Get drunk before giving your speech
A glass of wine or shot of tequila can help keep your nerves under control and provide you with the necessary dose of confidence, but don't be tempted to do more. Finding yourself at a point where you are at a loss for words is not a good start to the evening. Do have a glass in hand when you toast the bride and groom - bet you'll have everyone on your side?
Put off writing until the last minute
It is important to start writing your speech in good time, and not put it off until the last minute. Pen down some good ideas in the days (or weeks) before the wedding and start working on them. The more familiar you are with the material, the easier it will be for you on the day itself.
Going over the top
There is a fine line between being funny and simply being rude. It is important to know where to stop. Specifically, you only want to tell jokes that are well-intentioned, and better stay away from sensitive topics such as the love lives of the two newlyweds before they met...
Telling too many inside jokes
If you and the bride and groom are the only three people in the whole room who understand the joke, it is actually not very successful. Your speech should be engaging and understandable to everyone. ‘Excluding’ half the audience would cause guests to wander off and stop listening.
Googling your speech
The speech you deliver should be original and unique. If you can't find the words right away, it's better to get assistance from a friend, acquaintance or professional writer than to turn to the internet. Someone who is good with language will be able to help you find a good and moreover personalised speech, something you will not find on the first pages of your Google search results.
Discover more tips and tricks via these links...
